Dealing with Teen Dating Violence
By Nicole Chaudhrey, LICSW
Understanding Teen Dating Violence
To be young and in love – one of the best feelings in the world. Exploring connection in a different way with your peers, learning about yourselves and your values all while navigating social pressures is an exciting, yet intimidating time for teens. But what about the 1 in 12 high school students who report experiencing teen dating violence where the once sought-after feelings become intimidating, isolating and shameful?
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Often when we speak of dating violence we think of physical violence. In fact, there are several different types of violence teens can experience. Intimate partner violence can include physical violence, sexual violence, and psychological violence. Teens can experience violence in person, online, or through any type of technology.
Types of Violence:
Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force
Sexual violence is forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in a sex act and or sexual touching when the partner does not consent or is unable to consent or refuse. It also includes non-physical sexual behaviors like posting or sharing sexual pictures of a partner without their consent or sexting someone without their consent.
Psychological aggression / Emotional Abuse is the use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm a partner mentally or emotionally and exert control over a partner.
Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact by a current or former partner that causes fear or safety concerns for an individual victim or someone close to the victim.
The Effects of Violence on Teens’ Mental Health
Any type of intimate partner violence has both short and long-term effects on teens’ mental health and how they view all relationships.
Teens who have experienced this type of trauma are more likely to:
Experience symptoms of depression and anxiety
Have suicidal ideations and/or thoughts of self-harm
Experience PTSD-related symptoms
Engage in unhealthy behaviors including substance and alcohol use
Experience feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment
Violent relationships can also lead teens to have skewed and unhealthy visions of what a healthy relationship looks like. This can impact the development of healthy sexuality, identity, and intimacy.
Teen dating violence is especially prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community and continues to grow at an alarming rate. One study showed that lesbian, gay and bisexual high school-aged students report higher rates of physical (13%) and sexual (16%) dating violence, compared to the rates of physical (7%) and sexual (7%) dating violence reported by their straight peers. Transgender students report even higher levels of physical (26%) and sexual (23%) dating violence, compared to the rates of physical (15%) and sexual (16%) dating violence reported by their cisgender peers.
How Can Parents and Caregivers Help Prevent Teen Dating Violence?
The good news is teen dating violence can be prevented. Education and modeling help, and so does increasing protective factors and decreasing risk factors.
Parents can open dialogue with their teens about healthy boundaries and what a healthy vs. an unhealthy relationship looks like. It’s useful to identify safety outlets in all areas of the teen’s life (this includes schools, community partners, providers, coaches, etc). It’s good to begin this type of education at a young age, before the teenage years, so teens are equipped with the knowledge they need to be aware of red flags in any relationship. These types of conversations are especially important for teens to have with their parents so they too can become aware of their own responsibilities in romantic relationships and how to be a healthy partner for others.
Parents should remain aware and vigilant about the relationships their child is in. Fostering a healthy relationship with your teens through communication and transparency, without applying too much pressure, can help teens be more comfortable confiding in you if something is wrong. As in all relationships, communication is key.
Resources
If you’re worried about teen dating violence some helpful national resources include:
DISCLAIMER:
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
If you or your child are in crisis or experiencing mental health problems please seek the advice of a licensed clinician or call 988 or Kids Link in Rhode Island.
Nicole Chaudhrey, LICSW
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