How To Talk to Kids About War and Conflict
By Margaret Paccione-Dyszlewski, PhD, Director of Clinical Innovation
The world can seem like a depressing and anxiety-inducing place right now. Escalating war and conflict around the world has followed years of a deadly pandemic and economic insecurity. It’s hard for kids to process what it all means.
It’s challenging for adults to process and explain conflict, at home and abroad, but there are some basics that parents can follow.
Tips To Talking To Kids About War And Conflict:
Sort Out Your Own Feelings.
First, sort out your own feelings, anxiety, anger, and uncertainty – before talking with kids. The single most important factor in how your child reacts is your reaction to events. How you handle it and how you come across will strongly impact how your child processes the world and traumatic events around them. It’s not only what you say but how you say it.
Invite Questions and Listen.
Second, invite and listen to your child’s questions and concerns. Before you process with your child, hear what it is they understand and learn what they want to know. Too much information can be confusing and scary.
Know Your Facts.
Make sure you know your facts too. Kids may need help understanding historical background information and confusing words that come up on social media. Be prepared to research and help them process if you don’t know the answers immediately. But think of your child’s developmental level when speaking to them – how much information can they process and what’s the right way to pitch it.
Let Your Child Know They are Safe.
Younger kids will typically require more assurance. Teens will usually benefit from facts and time to process.
Limit Exposure to Traumatic Events
If you watch TV, do it together. Limit your child’s exposure to violence and traumatic events, especially if they have access to social media. For older kids, limit screen time and direct them to trustworthy sources of information, helping them to become critical consumers of media.
Maintain Routine
Lastly, keep your family’s schedule and routine. We all draw comfort from the usual at times of the unusual. Use personal sources of strength for support too – stay close to friends, neighbors, teachers, and clergy. Show your child the importance of in-person connections, as well as social media and connecting online.
Behaviors To Notice:
If your child regresses this could be normal.
Things to keep an eye out for include:
sleeping with parents
not wanting to do schoolwork
clinging to you or comfort toys
bedwetting
changes in appetite
significant mood swings
These behaviors can all be quite normal for a few weeks. If there’s a significant decline in functioning or persistent regression, contact your pediatrician or a local mental health center who can help to provide additional support in navigating a difficult time.
Remember that the kids most likely to be affected by these events are those with additional behavioral or mental health needs, and kids who have had prior traumatic events in their lives. Getting additional support soon can be even more important for families in this situation.
To speak to our team about our mental health offerings for teens and kids, please contact us here.
DISCLAIMER:
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
If you or your child are in crisis or experiencing mental health problems please seek the advice of a licensed clinician or call 988 or Kids Link in Rhode Island.
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