Bullying and Mental Health: What You Can Do
By Vamsi Tummalachetty, PsyD
KEY POINTS:
Bullying comes in many forms; physical, verbal, emotional, social and cyber bullying.
It’s especially difficult to spot signs in teenagers, who often try to hide symptoms.
Keep an eye out for the physical signs of bullying as listed below.
Keep an eye out for the non-physical signs of bullying as listed below.
Family dynamics play a big role in your child’s relationships outside of the house.
It's normal to be angry in response to bullying, but the way you respond to that could make a situation worse.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month. We know that bullying can have serious consequences for children and adolescents’ mental health. Physical, verbal, emotional, social, and cyber bullying can all have a profound impact on teens’ sense of self and their social development. In recent decades, awareness of bullying has increased in schools and on the national policy agenda. But as a parent, it’s still hard to know what to do and how to help your child if they are being bullied.
How do I know if my child is being bullied?
Be aware of physical and psychosomatic symptoms that can all be a sign that there is something wrong, including:
scars
bruises
headaches
stomach aches
Equally, other signs to look out for bullying can indicate an issue:
mood changes including anger outbursts
sadness
being withdrawn
a loss of interest in social activities
Other clues can include missing or damaged personal belongings. It’s especially difficult to spot signs in teenagers, who often try to hide symptoms or handle their problems on their own.
What can parents do to prevent and address bullying?
Your family dynamics and interactions and the quality of your relationship with your child help to establish healthy relationships outside the home. By helping your child cultivate a mindset of flexibility you can support them to develop their social problem-solving skills and make them more likely to ask for help when they are struggling. Remember that while you can’t control the difficulties that your child faces you can help them to respond in appropriate and healthy ways.
If your child has been bullied, respond but do not react! Rather than jumping to problem-solving straight away, provide a safe space to process concerns. Tell your child that it’s not their fault and help them feel supported. By doing this you make it easier to gather details. Gather evidence, where you have it.
After that, you can empower your child. Appreciate them for sharing their concerns, and brainstorm together to create an action plan. If they are not ready to share their concerns with an authority figure, help to explore the reasons for their concerns and explore who they can involve.
What can teens do if they’re being bullied?
Create a plan for places where bullying occurs. You might choose to be with a friend when going to the bathroom or during recess. Also know that if you come face to face with a bully, you can choose to communicate assertively or to walk away and ignore. It’s fine to be clear and direct and to ask the bully to stop what they are doing. Know that you can set limits; it’s fine to leave a group chat if things are not improving.
It's normal to be angry in response to a bully, but remember that the way you respond to that could make a situation worse. Stay calm, and practice deep breathing and grounding techniques.
It’s ok to report bullying. If you have tried to address the situation yourself and it continues, you have a right to ask for help and to feel safe. Addressing ongoing bullying requires adult intervention. Try talking to a school counselor, your parents, or another trusted adult.
Lastly, remember that bullying does not have to be the norm. Instead of tolerating others’ bullying, take action to support someone who is being bullied. We all have a right to kindness and safety and should work towards this for ourselves and our communities.
DISCLAIMER:
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
If you or your child are in crisis or experiencing mental health problems please seek the advice of a licensed clinician or call 988 or Kids Link in Rhode Island.
FOLLOW US FOR MORE:
RELATED ON THE BLOG:
