“I’m Fine” and Other Lies Boys Are Taught to Tell - Recognizing Hidden Mental Health Struggles
How to Recognize Hidden Mental Health Struggles in Young Men
If you’ve ever asked a teenage boy how he’s doing and gotten a shrug or a muttered “I’m fine”, you’re not alone. It’s one of the most common and most misleading responses boys give when they’re silently struggling.
From a young age, boys are often taught to value strength, independence, and emotional control. But this well-intentioned cultural script can have serious consequences: masking symptoms of depression, anxiety, or chronic stress behind silence, irritability, or even bravado.
At Bradley REACH, we see the impact of these hidden struggles every day and we’re here to help families recognize them before they spiral.
Why Mental Health in Boys Is Often Overlooked
Mental health challenges in boys don’t always look like sadness or worry. Instead, they may show up as:
Irritability or outbursts
Withdrawal from activities or friends
Drop in academic performance
Excessive gaming or screen time as escape
Physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches
Risk-taking behavior or emotional numbness
Because these symptoms are less “obvious,” boys are often underdiagnosed or misinterpreted as “just going through a phase.”
What Boys Are Really Saying When They Say “I’m Fine”
When a teen boy says “I’m fine”, he may really mean:
“I don’t know how to talk about this.”
“I don’t want to seem weak.”
“I’m afraid no one will understand.”
“I was told boys don’t cry.”
These internal messages reflect a culture that still struggles with allowing boys to express vulnerability. And that needs to change.
How Parents & Caregivers Can Help
Supporting your son’s mental health starts with creating emotional safety and asking the right questions.
Try:
“What was the hardest part of your day?”
“Is there anything you’re stressed or unsure about right now?”
“It’s okay to not have it all figured out—I’m here to listen.”
Also:
Model vulnerability — Share when you are overwhelmed or need support.
Praise emotional expression — Celebrate when your son opens up, no matter how small.
Keep communication low-pressure — Talk while driving, walking, or doing something side-by-side.
Normalize therapy — Whether virtual or in person, therapy can be a powerful support system for boys who don’t yet have the words.
Why Virtual Therapy Works for Boys
For many teens, especially boys, virtual therapy is a game-changer. It offers:
Privacy and comfort from their own space
Lower pressure for face-to-face vulnerability
More flexibility to fit therapy into busy school and activity schedules
Bradley REACH specializes in virtual therapy for adolescents, offering compassionate, expert care that meets boys where they are, and helps them become emotionally healthier and more self-aware.
Let’s Teach Boys a New Kind of Strength
It’s time to retire “man up” and embrace a more complete picture of mental health. Strength isn’t staying silent, it’s speaking up. It’s asking for help. It’s knowing that emotions are not a weakness but a powerful part of being human.
If you're concerned about a boy in your life, don't wait for him to say “I'm not fine.” Reach out. Ask. Listen. And when you're ready we’re here.
Contact Bradley REACH today to learn more about virtual therapy for boys and teens. Let’s give the next generation the tools to speak freely—and thrive.
Related Topics:
Bradley REACH specializes in supporting teen boys with anxiety, depression, emotional withdrawal, stress management, and school-related transitions. We offer virtual therapy designed to help teens express what they’re really feeling.
Get Mental Health Care
We’d love to connect you or someone you know with mental health care. To refer a child/teen/adolescent or yourself, please call (877) 992-2422 or click here to make a referral. Bradley REACH’s expert teams of psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and nurses provide intensive mental health care and therapy to teams and families, virtually, in New England, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Florida.
DISCLAIMER:
The information, including but not limited to, text, graphics, images and other material contained on this website are for informational purposes only. No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
If you or your child are in crisis or experiencing mental health problems please seek the advice of a licensed clinician or call 988 or Kids Link in Rhode Island.
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